Fine Print

I have become the emotional equivalent of a popup ad.

I offer great things and, at face value, it looks like I can and will deliver.

I have a standard sales routine that sounds great.

Unless you read the fine print.

The fine print, which any good salesman glosses over, states that:

Product is sold "as is".
Warranty is expired.
Product is defective.
Contents have shifted in transit.
Product cannot be repaired by user.


Like so many cans of Ronco spray on hair before me, I have ended up in the trash can after the unwitting buyer has found out that I don't live up to advertised claims.

Let the buyer beware.
There's a sucker born every minute.

I realize that this has been my dating stategy. I go into every "relationship" knowing it is going to end the same way as the one before, so I put forth less and less effort each time.

Instead of evaluating each new relationship on it's own pros and cons, I simply assume that it is going to be more of the same, so I run the same program over and over.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting a different outcome.

Honestly, I haven't expected a different outcome in a very long time.

But what if I want a different outcome?

Is the force of habit too much to overcome? Has my mental state become so ingrained that I cannot change it?

Is my isolation so much a part of me that I have doomed myself to stay isolated?

I don't know.

Habits can be hard to break... but perhaps not impossible.