I am worried.
What if I change?
What if what I become is worse than what I am?
What if it is better?
What if I revert back to what I am?
What if?
There was a time when "what if" didn't rule me.
I paid for it. I still pay for it.
I have controlled my environment so that the outcome was known from jump.
The outcome has been unsatisfying, but familiar.
Part of me is comforted by the familiar.
A growing part of me yearns for the mystery of what might be.
Am I strong enough to strike out from my comfortable prison?
Am I strong enough to fail?
Am I strong enough to succeed?
Can I set out, knowing that I might not return to everything I have known, for the chance of something better?
Friday, August 22, 2008
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