Running Scared

"Some say a hero is born to be brave
Well, I'm here to tell you
A hero is a scared man who doesn't walk away"

In my world, the worst thing a man can be is a coward. The ability to act when the chips are down, when the consequences are all or nothing... it is everything.

I am not a coward.

Yes, I am.

When faced with bad people, I act. I do not hesitate. I do not let whatever fear I have deter me from the things I need to do to go home at night.

When faced with good people who wish to share my life, I hesitate. My fear keeps me alone.

If I allow myself to be vulnerable to them, they are in a position to further damage me. They have shown no inclination to hurt me, but it is not a chance I am willing to take.

And this makes me a coward.

I believe it makes me less of a man, as well.

Yes, I go home every night.
To what?
An empty bed.
A solitary morning.
Coffee for one.

What if I were able to invite someone in?
What if I had someone to go home to?
What if I awakened in the morning to find someone special beside me?

What if I didn't come home one night?
Would I put someone else through what I have endured?

Can I do that to someone else?