Solitary Confinement

I honestly hoped it would be different.

I won't go so far as to say I liked her.
I will allow that I didn't actively dislike her, in the beginning.
The absense of impulse to leave the room is not a reason to get married.

Our honeymoon was spent at a nice hotel by the ocean.
We did not engage in the activity that newlyweds are rumored to engage in on honeymoons, so we both came back with skin bronzed by the sun.

I would have bronzed skin for the entirety of my marriage.

My wife was not interested in physical contact with me.
Not just the act of making love. A simple, seemingly natural gesture, like holding hands in a theater, was brushed away with a harsh look.

After 6 months of wedded "bliss", Les declared that my considerable size was crowding her on the full sized matress we shared. At her direction, I moved into the spare room and slept on a futon.

I purchased a queen sized bed with money I had scraped together over several months. I set it up in the master bedroom while she was out. When she returned, I unveiled it to her, explaining that it would afford us both ample room to rest.

Shortly thereafter, she declared that my snoring was too much to bear, and I was evicted to the spare bedroom once again, this time on a full sized matress.

In time, I purchased a king sized bedding set, with extra pillows, so that I could sleep in a somewhat upright position. I had read that this minimized snoring.

After a respectful period of time, she simply stated that she didn't want me in the room.

I spoke to other married men and I discovered that I was not alone. What I was living was a typical marriage.

All the books, movies, sitcoms and poems... they were lies. Written by married people so miserable that they lash out by painting marriage as blissful, supportive, and nurturing... all to dupe unsuspecting fools into sharing their purgatory.

My sense of honor kept me incarcerated. I had made a commitment, and men keep their commitments.

By the grace of God, Les had never learned that lesson from her father.